Water your side of the grass
We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘”the grass is greener on the other side’”, but what does this exactly mean? How do change the way others influence the way we feel about our own lives?
At one point in my life I was very much guilty of believing that the grass was greener on the other side. Having been overseas for my entire high school career I was constantly worried about missing out on football games and the ‘All-American high school experience’. Seeing my friends post on social media about their experiences seemed to devalue my own making me feel as though I could not achieve the same fun they did. Now I think to myself, couldn’t I see that although I wasn’t at the football games I was attending international day where I could enjoy the showcase of the 100+ countries represented at my school? And although I wasn’t riding in my new car I was riding elephants and camels? In the end I realized that I was afforded many opportunities that my friends did not experience. I came to this conclusion by realizing that you cannot make the most of your unique experience if you become consumed in someone else’s lifestyle.
Mind Games
Becomingminimalist sums up a perfect response to comparing our lives to others. “We always compare our worst with their best” (Becomingminimalist). People tend to project their best to the world creating a façade to which we compare ourselves to. Using social media platforms or our surface analyzation of someone’s life reveals that we compare ourselves to only one layer of a person’s life. Do not let what others hand pick and craft to present you allow you to become disillusioned. Always remember that behind every instagramed picture there could be a stark reality.
Contentment vs. Settling
Living your own individual life can often make you feel as though you are ‘missing out’. We as a society have even coined a term for the fear of missing out as, ‘FoMo’. We live in a culture that perpetuates certain images that appear to be better than they seem causing us to feel un-content in our own lives.
Becoming content with your own life regardless of what others are doing around you is a major step in reclaiming your happiness. Yet it is important to note that contentment is different from settling. The fine distinction between the two is that contentment is finding comfort in your present potential while settling is accepting less than your best.
Settling is not the objective when learning to water your own grass because by settling you become compliant with a life that does not reach your potential. Re-direct all the time spent having ‘FoMo’ on working to become the best you can be instead. Once you realize the potential of your own life, there’s no need to concern yourself with how others are living theirs.
Presence
Being present is another important component in learning to love your own life. We easily miss the value in our life because we focus our attention on others. PyschologyToday makes a valid point when it comes to being present. An article on the site utilizes the term ‘mindfulness’ to capture the essence of being aware of your present and living in the moment. The article goes on to say that the definition of being ‘mindful’ is disregarding any outlying thoughts that don’t pertain to the thoughts you have in that certain moment. The key to mastering mindfulness is: “you [becoming] an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them” (PyschologyToday). Being mindful means to stay focused on what you were originally thinking by blocking out negative thoughts from the influence of others.
Maintain Your Grass
The next time you begin to compare your life to another, remember that deception is rife, you are better off focusing your energy on improving your unhappiness and lastly, by being present in YOUR life you are in full control.
When we stop comparing ourselves to others we become comfortable in our own truth. Cheers to watering, loving and maintaining your side of the grass!