We have all seen the ads for dating websites–eHarmony, okcupid, match.com. But, I’ve always wondered to myself, do these sites really work? Is it possible that online dating can really help us find our special someone just by filling out a questionnaire?
Last week I ventured onto eHarmony just to see what this site had to offer. Within minutes I was exposed to a wide variety of tips/advice about where to go on first dates, how to figure out what you’re looking for in a date, and even what important questions to ask on these dates. The National Academy of Sciences even reports that those who use sites like eHarmony are about twice as likely to posses satisfaction within the marriage and have reduce rates of divorce compared to those who did not meet online.
Ok….so you’ve decided what you want in a man/woman. Now what?
I have always felt that using these sites to “advertise” yourself tend to be the hardest part. But there are several very helpful tips that can reduce this stress and get you more excited for meeting that special someone.
1. Be yourself-I can’t tell you how many people I have talked to who want to make themselves stand out on paper. But if that’s not who you are, then you are actually hurting yourself when it comes to finding the right match for you. There is nothing wrong with highlighting some attributes that are factual and special, but when you stray from who you truly are you end up hurting your chances of meeting someone who is right for you.
2. Keep it simple-Of course many people have a wide variety of interests, but using them all at once on your profile can take some mystery out of who you are and be totally overwhelming. You don’t want to give everything away about yourself before even meeting the person. So keep it simple and leave a little mystery for the date!
3. Don’t compare yourself to others– My mother uses eHarmony and is constantly comparing herself to other women. “I’m not pretty enough….I’m not exciting enough….I won’t find anyone,” she often says. But what she fails to remember is that she is special in her own way and worrying about how she measures up against other women only helps in making her feel bad about herself. So try to refrain from looking at other profiles and be confident in your unique qualities!
4. Post a “good” photo– This doesn’t mean it has to be a picture of you from ten years ago at your senior prom! Try to be honest with your picture because you will be meeting this person in the future, so what’s the point in fibbing. Most people really appreciate being true to yourself so post a picture that reflects you the best whether it’s with you and all of your children or you at your favorite sports game! This is what make a “good” photo.
5. Think with your head– Some who use online dating sites tend to see someone who they think are attractive and immediately assume that it is a perfect match. However, there is a lot more to the person than looks and we all know looks can be deceiving. So, check out other qualities the person possesses like his/her hobbies, favorite movies, lifestyle, etc. These are the aspects that can really separate a long lasting love connection from a superficial romance.
So next time you decide to access your online dating account, keep these tips in mind and check out this article for some more advice!
P.S. Tell us how your experiences with online dating and if you have any other hints, we would love for you to comment below. And if you’d like some professional advice on writing the perfect profile or choosing the right match, join us at Dating Dilemmas for expert advice and intimate conversation. Get your ticket now.