How to Avoid Defensiveness
Don’t get defensive is something we say all the time.  Defensiveness is our natural and reflexive position when confronted with the idea that we’ve done something wrong or disappointed someone, particularly those we care about.  Becoming defensive is easy, and avoiding it takes real effort.   Before I launch into […]

How to Avoid Defensiveness

I don’t like my cat. It’s a relief to say it.  I don’t allow myself to think about it very often, and saying it out loud (so to speak) is a bit scary, but also sort of like letting out a breath after holding it in for a long time.  […]

The Two Truths Problem

"Real World" Mental Health
As a college senior preparing to enter the “real world” (although college is definitely no fantasy land either), I am starting to realize that the free on-campus mental health resources that currently are just a walk down the street away, will not be so conveniently accessible in less than eight […]

“Real World” Mental Health

3 Ways to Stay Empowered While Dating
In an ideal world, dating would be straight-forward, and you’d take on the rest of your life with the one you love by your side. However, it’s 2017 and some people are as faithful as their options. With partners now just a swipe away, it’s easy to find yourself in […]

3 Ways to Stay Empowered While Dating

Be Someone Else 2
One of the most difficult things to sit with in therapy, and in relationships with friends and family, is to be with a person who wants to make changes, but can’t seem to do it.  We all either know or have been this person at some point in our lives.  […]

Be Someone Else

It Is All Your Fault
Recently, my husband and I were riding together in the car, and got into a brief back and forth about using the GPS to find the way home. I should say up front that this is not unusual for us. Our friends and family have, by turns, teased us, joined […]

It is All Your Stuff

Stop, Drop, and Feel
One of the issues that we hear frequently in couples therapy, and also came up in our couples lunch last week, is that men lack emotion. The story goes that men simply feel less than women do, and aren’t as likely to become emotional.  While the claim that men are […]

Stop, Drop, and Feel

Why Trying to Control Your Feelings Is Pointless
  The prevailing world view is that emotion and logic operate in separate spheres of the brain, and as such, we can separate the two.  Now, however, there’s a solid body of research that contradicts this claim, and reflects what I believe many of us who deal in emotion have […]

Why Trying to Control Your Feelings is Pointless

Your Marriage Won't Save Itself
There’s an idea going around that if your marriage is strong enough, then it should be immune to certain vulnerabilities. For instance, if you’re attracted or drawn to someone other than your spouse, you should still be able to spend time with that person, and your marriage should be unaffected. […]

Your Marriage Won’t Save Itself

Why Get Married?
In the last newsletter, we talked about how whether a marriage survives depends on the willingness and desire of both people to continue to work on it. And with all this talk about working on marriage, inevitably some folks will ask, why bother?  Marriage is a lot of work, and […]

Why Get Married?

The Good Marriage Myth 1
When I was young, I thought marriages could be divided into two discrete categories—good and bad.  Both of my parents had been divorced prior to meeting each other, and having seen first-hand their happy second marriage, and their contentious interactions with their exes, it was clear to me that they […]

The ‘Good Marriage’ Myth

The Relationship Bank Account
Hi! My name is Maria Perozzi, LMFT. I’m one of the new therapists here at Group Therapy Associates. I’m quite excited to be writing my first article for GTA. For those who already work with me, you know I love explaining concepts and situations using analogies. It’s one of the […]

The Relationship Bank Account