Be Someone Else 2
One of the most difficult things to sit with in therapy, and in relationships with friends and family, is to be with a person who wants to make changes, but can’t seem to do it.  We all either know or have been this person at some point in our lives.  […]

Be Someone Else

It Is All Your Fault
Recently, my husband and I were riding together in the car, and got into a brief back and forth about using the GPS to find the way home. I should say up front that this is not unusual for us. Our friends and family have, by turns, teased us, joined […]

It is All Your Stuff

Stop, Drop, and Feel
One of the issues that we hear frequently in couples therapy, and also came up in our couples lunch last week, is that men lack emotion. The story goes that men simply feel less than women do, and aren’t as likely to become emotional.  While the claim that men are […]

Stop, Drop, and Feel

Why Trying to Control Your Feelings Is Pointless
  The prevailing world view is that emotion and logic operate in separate spheres of the brain, and as such, we can separate the two.  Now, however, there’s a solid body of research that contradicts this claim, and reflects what I believe many of us who deal in emotion have […]

Why Trying to Control Your Feelings is Pointless

Your Marriage Won't Save Itself
There’s an idea going around that if your marriage is strong enough, then it should be immune to certain vulnerabilities. For instance, if you’re attracted or drawn to someone other than your spouse, you should still be able to spend time with that person, and your marriage should be unaffected. […]

Your Marriage Won’t Save Itself

Why Get Married?
In the last newsletter, we talked about how whether a marriage survives depends on the willingness and desire of both people to continue to work on it. And with all this talk about working on marriage, inevitably some folks will ask, why bother?  Marriage is a lot of work, and […]

Why Get Married?

The Good Marriage Myth 1
When I was young, I thought marriages could be divided into two discrete categories—good and bad.  Both of my parents had been divorced prior to meeting each other, and having seen first-hand their happy second marriage, and their contentious interactions with their exes, it was clear to me that they […]

The ‘Good Marriage’ Myth

The Relationship Bank Account
Hi! My name is Maria Perozzi, LMFT. I’m one of the new therapists here at Group Therapy Associates. I’m quite excited to be writing my first article for GTA. For those who already work with me, you know I love explaining concepts and situations using analogies. It’s one of the […]

The Relationship Bank Account

Fight Night: Creating a Healthy Space for Conflict
The oft-repeated advice “never go to bed angry,” gets under my skin.  The idea that a conflict with your spouse should be wrapped up all tidy and neat with a bow by the end of the evening seems…well, ridiculous to me. More than that, I think it plays into this […]

Fight Night: Creating a Healthy Space for Conflict

what makes a good marriage?
In the last newsletter, I talked about how one of the commonly asked questions in couples therapy was whether partners should stay or get married.  Given that any relationship, healthy or otherwise, is going to have issues, sometimes it can be difficult to determine whether or not your issues are […]

What makes a good marriage?

Life's Questions Answered the Quick and Dirty Way
Below, I discus some of life’s questions that regularly make an appearance in the therapy room.  In my office, finding the answers to these questions can involve steady, patient exploration and thoughtfulness.  But this is a blog post, so instead of a gentle meandering, you’re going to get the quick […]

Life’s Questions Answered, the Quick and Dirty Way

Don't Hold Someone Else's Bag
Despite what this title would suggest, this is not a warning from the TSA or Metro (see something, say something). It’s not folks’ actual bags that I’m concerned about, but their emotional ones.  And I’m suggesting, asking really—that, unless they belong to you, put them down. I think I’ve resisted […]

Don’t Hold Someone Else’s Bag