In an ideal world, dating would be straight-forward, and you’d take on the rest of your life with the one you love by your side. However, it’s 2017 and some people are as faithful as their options. With partners now just a swipe away, it’s easy to find yourself in the same early stages of dating over and over again. If you’re finding yourself exhausted of dating without a purpose, here’s a few tips to keep you empowered:
Get To Know Yourself, Again
The time in between your last relationship and your next one is important. It’s a period of time that ebbs and flows with mixed emotions about what you really want versus where you are in life; frustration in finding it; and uncertainty about what’s to come next. This is also the perfect time to deal with all of that by getting to know yourself, again and again. Take that list of questions that come up in first dates and ask yourself, “How do you feel about monogamy? What’s your philosophy on life? What’s your perspective on religion?” They may spark ideas and curiosity about who you are as an individual with beliefs and values, and who you are and what you desire in a relationship. The most important part of this stage of dating is to be honest with yourself and pay attention to the qualities and characteristics you’re attracted to.
Take inventory of yourself – emotionally, physically, and sexually. I have a friend who recently wrote an article that sparked my interest when she shared her ‘dirty little secret’ of prioritizing her lady parts before her dates with potentials; leaving her feeling even more in control of her body and more focused on where she actually wants the relationship to go next. She finds it empowering and lets her filter through what the individual really brings to the table. The point of this is to enter the dating scene with a clear idea about what you want in order to relay your needs and desires to your potential partner without being distracted by raging hormones.
Rejection is Not the End
Rejection happens to everyone, in a variety of life circumstances, and unsurprisingly, dating is one of them. By now, we have all experienced being rejected in one way or another by someone we were interested in or attracted to. I like to think of rejection as a process of elimination. My friends know my views on dating and how similar it is to the cliché, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea.” I tend to use this when situations don’t work out in my favor, mainly to keep a healthy view on my love life, and a positive attitude towards who I’m dating next. This is also an opportunity to also take a look at your dating patterns and habits. Take your past relationships and romantic encounters and learn from them. Take note of what’s happened and, if you’re willing, try a new approach on the dating scene.
Build Your Own Foundations
Being in a relationship – naturally, you compromise for someone. However, being in serious relationships while you’re young, or going through a personal transition, often leads to compromising, or settling, on pieces of you that you haven’t even explored yet. What I’ve got from this is that it’s okay to invest time, energy, and money in yourself, before you invest in anyone else. Having a romantic partner should be an amazing addition to your life. As you choose to share your time and space with those you’re interested in pursuing, let self-love be a foundation for how you interact with others while dating at any age in your life.
At any point in your life, dating can be difficult. In the process of falling back in love with yourself, you may just find out some new things about yourself that open new doors for your love life. Remember to keep a positive and healthy outlook about relationships that don’t work out. With your foundation built upon loving and accepting yourself as is, eventually you’ll begin to weed out the ones who aren’t for you – leading you to the individuals who are. What are some of the ways you like to keep yourself afloat in the dating pool? Be sure to share with us below!